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I don't give a fuuuuuck~  
01:49am 04/11/2011
So in times of feeling no bueno I try to remember to grab on to little things to be happy/excited about, and I really have any number of those to choose from.. the hard part is just remembering to do it haha.

Most recently, been kinda nerding out on Evangelion after watching the second movie, You can (not) advance. It was SO GOOD. The changes they made were really interesting, and omg just when I thought the beserk Eva's couldn't be any more terrifying than they were in the original series/movies, just holy fuck. DX Not to mention the Angel's redesigns are crazy and creepy too haha. But yeah omg there were so many epic battles, I'm pretty sure I had chills throughout the majority of the movie. XD Tho that song they decided to play when Eva 01 is ripping apart Eva 05 after it's possessed by an Angel that Megumi Hayashibara sings... wth. It's so bad. D: They made her sing in too high/soft a pitch or something.. cuz she just sounds so bad, and she's normally a good singer obviously. D: But yeah.. the terrible song was almost enough to totally ruin the mood of the scene lol.. and then they play it when shit is getting crazy in the end too WHY. DX Somehow, I'm liking Rei and Asuka more in the movies than in the series... and omg Mari~~ <3 I fucking love her haha. I think I can safely say my favs now are Shinji, Misato, and Mari. I think the main reason people hate on Shinji is because other than the more bizarre behaviors he exhibits later, deep down they know that's exactly how they would act/react in his shoes. ;p Sorry but if I grew up like him, then get yanked out of whatever already sub par life I was living on the whim that maybe my asshole father might like me, get put into a giant robot and sent out to fight some crazy ass monster where I get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed repeatedly and have limbs broken/torn off, I might be like "YEAH FUCK YOU I'M OUT" too. ;p Childhood issues aside, look at his romantic choices as he's hitting puberty: albino clone of his mom, crazy ginger bitch with mommy issues, gay angel, the (damn sexy) older woman with daddy issues, and now random mystery girl who thinks he smells good cuz he smells like womb juice (LCL fluid). XD Anyway, I <3 Shinji. XD And the only thing I could retain from the preview for the third movie was Asuka with an eyepatch, OH HELLZ YEAH~ It's going to be a painful wait tho, uunnnnggghhh~

Also just finished watching the 4th season of The Slayers, Revolution... honestly tho without even seeing the 5th season yet they should have just combined them into one since I'm assuming the 5th ties up the rest of the plot lines from season 4. But yeah I liked it, good old Slayers fun tiemz... tho it really felt like a filler arc lol. I'm hoping the 5th season will pack more of a punch. Even the "final battle" at the end of the 4th season was kinda lame... I just thought it was stupid how they're like "OMG IT'S IMPERVIOUS TO MAGIC BUT THE SWORD OF LIGHT WILL TAKE IT OUT.... LET'S KEEP USING MAGIC ON IT!!!" ಠ_ಠ And Pokota's human form - srsly worst design ever, wth. Now I just hope he stays a Pokemon lol. I also hope since they seem to be revisiting old characters, maybe Zangulus will make a reappearance?! :D And Martina, that'd be fun. XD I was told tho that Naga is kind of in it, so I'm already looking forward to that haha.

I need to get the second season of Hetalia too... and god dammit will someone freaking watch all of Panty and Stocking so I have someone to share in the horror and extreme amusement with?! And also so I have someone who will share the burden of hoping GAINAX wasn't trolling with their setup for a second season... cuz I swear if there's no second season, I will assault their studio with dildos.

Also getting mega pumped for COSPLAY FUN TIEMZ! ..tho I know as soon as I pull out the sewing machine and stare at the pile of fabric I have, that will go away and be replaced by the reminder of how much i fucking hate sewing. XD; But I feel really excited about my costumes... it's been a few years since I've really done a more complicated costume. And I'll get to be Amaterasu finally! So I can stop picking apart what I would have done differently every time I see someone else cosplaying her. XD And then of course I have Alexiel, with Nanatsusaya~~~ <33333 I just gotta fix the costume so it doesn't fall apart on me like when I tried to wear it the first time. ^^;

The release of the coloring book I put together with my friends is also looming!! I sent it in to the publisher Friday, so I hope to get an email Monday so it gets the official green light.. then I just have to obsessively worry that I overlooked something important until I get the books and can look at a physical copy and see if it's perfect or not but it'll be too late unless I somehow sell all 100 of them quickly and have to get a second printing haha. I'm so excited for it tho... everyone worked so hard so it'll be great to see it finally DONE and IN MY HANDS. *__*

What'll REALLY be exciting is that I got a table for Phoenix Comic Con, and the coloring book will certainly be in my possession by then, so I'm hoping to sell a lot of them there! *__* Also been thinking about what new art/merch I want to try and have by then.. so far it's mostly stuff that prolly isn't that popular but oh well lol. I just draw what I want anyway... when I start to think too much about "what will sell" it's not fun anymore. But yeah I want to do stickers or maybe keychains of the baby Celestial Brush Gods from Okami and Okamiden including Ammy/Chibiterasu of course. Maybe even Shiranui. ^^ I have 4 or 5 of them sketched out atm. Also I want to do chibi Witchblade, and Aspen from Fathom. Maybe the Magdelena too... I'm reading the first Witchblade Compendium right now, and tho I hate Jackie/The Darkness sometimes I find him to be almost likeable which baffles and confuses me~.... so I may try my hand at him too lol. But yeah I managed to sketch a chibi Sara with the Witchblade inspired by this awesome scene/pose in the first Origins story... I swear Michael Turner was just so amazing, it breaks my heart every time I think about his passing. :( But yeah drawing the Witchblade, just as hard/harder than it looks haha. Lol but yeah there's really not any male comic guys I really like other than Batman characters, like Bruce, Tim and Joker... but I'm not particularly inspired to draw them, at least not atm. :/ I kinda am happy tho drawing Image girls... I don't really remember seeing much fanart of any of them last year as opposed to Marvel/DC characters, so maybe I'll have less competition on that end at least. I also want to get some new Zel and Dash art done by then, cuz I think they have good wide appeal designs, and Zel especially totally has a typical comic girl body anyway... Big boobs, narrow hips, strong arms/stomach and killer legs, lol. e.e;;; Also even tho I'm not very confident it would sell, I would love to try my hand at doing a Witchblade munny. X_X It would be... so hard haha. But fun I think. Which reminds me I really need to set up an etsy so I can try and sell my Mrs. Pumpkin Miku munny, and the Sakura Miku... tho I'm getting more and more attached to my Mrs.Pumpkin one... maybe I'll keep her and do another one, with less mistakes, and sell that one lol.

...What is this, just now ANOTHER earthquake in Japan complete with another tsunami warning?! D:> A month to the day even.

....Well there goes anything else I was gunna talk about lol. I'll just end this here, cuz I doubt I'll be able to concentrate on much else for a while.

日本のみんな気をつけて! <:(
:.mood.: draineddrained
:.music.: Utada Hikaru - Beautiful World
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
01:41am 02/25/2011

So I had pre-ordered this CD, CRUSH! -90's V-Rock best hit cover songs-, because it sounded like it was gunna be full of so much EPIC WIN that there was simply no choice... AND OH MAN I HAVE NOT BEEN LET DOWN. So even tho I doubt anyone is gunna read this, I'm gunna rant about each song and my thoughts on them. XD

1. heidi. - ピンク スパイダー (Pink Spider) [hide Cover]

I think hide is the best way to start any CD. XD The song is pretty straightforward with little changes made, I think heidi. did really well. ^_^ I kind of wish they would have added more of their own touches to it, as I've heard quite a few covers of Pink Spider so I was hoping for something a little different. But, why mess with perfection I guess right? ;D When I was thinking about who I would have liked to hear cover this song, Miyavi actually came to mind. Despite my misgivings with his music sometimes, he is an amazing guitarist and I can only imagine where he could have taken this or any other hide song.

2. Doremidan - 街 (MACHI) [SOPHIA Cover]

I haven't heard the original song as SOPHIA is one of those great bands that has just continued to slip under my radar, but I do like me some Doremidan. :) The song is cute and catchy, so it's all good to me. ^^

3. BugLug - Melty Love [SHAZNA Cover]

When I first listened to this, my instant reaction was "OMFG <3." Melty Love is the first song by SHAZNA I ever listened to, and even though Izam kinda scared me at first I've grown to love him, and this song remains my favorite song haha. But yeah, I've seen a few BugLug PVs randomly, and they're SO GENKI and colorful.. SUPER oshare kei so it's a pretty perfect match for this song IMO. They somehow managed to make the song even cuter and even moar poppy punk, srsly it's amazing haha. If antique cafe weren't in hiatus I would say they would have been an even better choice for this, but yeah BugLug did an amazing job in their own right. <3


This is my favorite SIAM SHADE song~ So I kinda had high expectations, and I ended up being pretty disappointed at first despite liking NoGod. :/ It's not BAD... it's just not great either somehow haha. But the more I listen to it, the more it grows on me... maybe it's just because the song itself is so good even a so-so cover can't do too much wrong haha.

5. D - 月下の夜想曲 (GEKKA NO YASOUKYOKU) [Malice Mizer Cover]

I was kinda nervous about this one, because I've never listened to D before so I didn't know what to expect. But oh man I was surprised in the BEST way by this cover. *___* D turned this song into a melodic metal piece (imagine Mois Dix Mois sounding stuff) and his deep vocals suit the song and what he did with it PERFECTLY. It's fucking awesome, I couldn't be more pleased if Mois Dix Mois covered it haha.

6. Lolita23q - STORM [LUNA SEA Cover]
So Lolita23q is one of my absolute FAVORITE new school V-Kei bands, so I had really high hopes for this cover because it's fucking Luna Sea. *__* And they did an AMAZING job. All of the instruments sound what I can only describe as vibrant, and Soshi's vocals are very clean.. I would have liked him to maybe have a little more oomph at some parts but he did great none-the-less. FANTASTICAL~

7. Manterou Opera - 紅 (KURENAI) [X JAPAN Cover]

I admittingly haven't listened to much of Manterou, but I've heard so many good things about them that I wasn't too concerned, although I wouldn't have minded a different band taking on the almighty X JAPAN. But much to their credit, they did an incredible job. *_* The singer's voice is kind of high and unique sounding much like Toshi's, so it's a good fit. And the rest of the band did an amazing job keeping up with this super fast paced and energetic song. I also like the dramatic organ they added, it definitely adds a personal touch. :D

8. DaizyStripper - With-you [La'cryma Christi Cover]

So even though I really like La'cryma Christi I don't actually have much music from them so I hadn't heard the original song before haha. ^^; I also haven't listened to DaizyStripper very much even though I have a few songs by them.. but I don't recall the singer sounding so much like a woman. ._. None-the-less, the song is bouncy and cute. <3 I likes~

9. 12012 - Winter, again [GLAY Cover]

Obviously, I had EPIC HIGH EXPECTATIONS for this because not only is it GLAY but Winter, again is one of my all time favorite songs, but I really like 12012 so I was pretty confident they'd do well (even though I thought it was kinda an odd pairing haha). They also went the route of not messing with perfection, so it's a spot on cover, and it's really just beautiful. <3 12012 did an incredible job, and the singer's voice carries so much feeling and emotion, they just totally owned it. LOVE.

10. AND - ロマンス (ROMANCE) [PENICILLIN Cover]

I've never listened to AND and haven't heard the original song either despite being somewhat familiar with both bands, but I think it's a great cover and has definitely perked my interest in AND. <3

11. Mix Speaker's, Inc. - S.O.S ロマンティック (S.O.S ROMANTIC) [CASCADE Cover]

I've NEVER heard of CASCADE so I didn't have any idea what to expect haha. But I am a big fan of Mix Speaker's Inc. ( for those of you that know Psycho le Cemu, this is the band AYA and seek are now in :3 ), so I knew it was gunna be good. I haven't looked up the original song, but I'm all but sure Mix added a lot of their own personal touches to it since it has a lot of their signature Halloween Carnival sound in it. XD It's definitely a fun song!


So I think I've heard of D-SHADE just not their music, and I've never heard of LOST ASH, so again didn't know what to expect. It's a really good song tho! Really upbeat and fun, and it definitely has this feel of old school Visual Kei somehow haha.

13. MERRY - Schweinの椅子 (SCHWEIN NO ISU) [Dir en grey Cover]

Somehow I thought MERRY had been around for a lot longer so I was kinda confused when I first saw they were COVERING a song as opposed to being covered... but yeah they've only been around since 2001 so I don't know what I was thinking. XD Anyhoo, even though Schwein no Isu is from my favorite Dir en grey era and indeed one of my fav Diru songs, I feel like there are much better songs more suited to Merry than this... I feel like Gara's voice, which I adore, is wasted on all the growling and screaming lyrics in this song. So even tho I do like this cover, anytime I listen to it I can't help but feel frustrated haha. Honestly, I think they should have sung Cage, that would have been AMAZING.

14. DuelJewel - JUPITER [BUCK-TICK Cover]

This is one of the songs that made me jizz myself when I first read the tracklist for this CD. Duel Jewel is one of my all time favorite bands, and this is my all time favorite BUCK-TICK song s it's like a match made in heaven haha. They added their own personal touches to it, which only makes this already beautiful song that much more epic and haunting. <333 FUCKING.LOVE.IT.


Never heard of the band doing this cover, but I LOVE Raphael. DOG did a good job on this cover, kept it mostly the same as the original... but somehow it kinda just fails to grab me. :/ I'm not sure why really... cuz it's not bad like I said... I dunno. :/ I was thinking of who I'd rather hear cover Raphael, and for whatever reason Versailles came to mind.. I think that would have been freaking epic. *___*

Overall, this CD is just amazing. <3 Totally worth every penny and I hope they do another one!!! A few bands I think would be awesome to hear covered even though maybe they might not be quite as "influential" or classic as the bands covered on this CD, are PIERROT, Psycho le Cemu, and SEX MACHINEGUNS to name a few. Hell they could cover the exact same bands for all I care, I just want moar. XD
:.mood.: accomplishedaccomplished
:.music.: Lolita23q - STORM [LUNA SEA Cover]
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
12:18am 02/25/2011
So I swear to god I've just been a meatbag of sickness this month. DX A cold, migraines, bacterial infection, super harsh period, and moar... and now that today I was actually feelin' pretty good I spent the day cleaning, but now I have a cramp in my lower bag from all the moving and sitting in awkward positions for too long. XD; SO I'm calling it quits for tonight.. got a pain patch on my back and took some medicine so hopefully pain will subside soon. ^^;

For now I'm gunna indulge and do some drawing~~ *___* I'm so grateful for all the commissions I've gotten these last few months, but damn it's hard to feel accomplished because I feel like when I finish one another one comes to take it's place so I'm never done~ DX I shouldn't complain... but man I kinda just want a break lol. But yeah not gunna happen.. especially since Con-nichiwa is comin' up late March, and guess who just sent in an app for a (HORRIBLY EXPENSIVE) Phoenix ComicCon table? YEAH ME. \(^o^)/ I'm really excited, because even if I don't sell enough to break even, I'll be excited for the exposure to a whole new crowd and not just animoo peeps. *____* And the coloring book should be out by then too so I'm hoping if nothing else that will sell at least. God I only need a few more people's art and then it's pretty much DONE and ready to be sent off to get printed... it's been I think 4 or 5 months in the making, which isn't that long I guess but omg I just want it to be done already lol. I'm tired of harping and chasing after artists for work haha. But it's been a really fun experience, and I hope we get to make more after this. <3

But ugh ok I'm gunna make a post after this raving about this CD i'm listening to then get to wrk drawing before I get too tired. XD
:.mood.: accomplishedaccomplished
:.music.: D - 月下の夜想曲 (GEKKA NO YASOUKYOKU) [Malice Mizer Cover]
    .:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
08:14am 01/29/2011
1) I'm getting my first tattoo this year, goal is before July. I'll probably get it next time I go to visit my sister, Brianne, up in Washington. Hopefully I'll be able to get an appt with the tattoo artist that did her last ink. I'M EXCITED. And terrified. BUT MOSTLY EXCITED. And apparently Brianne has decided we're getting matching Star Wars tattoos lol. I just want the Rebel Alliance symbol tho. Fuck the Empire!

2) OYAH I changed the colors and BG on the ELJAY. I kinda want to make a custom mood theme, but I am too lazy lol. TOO MUCH WERK.

3) I'm feeling kinda art roneries. :< I want to have an arting hangout~ I should just do a livestream soon, that will help I think haha. I also feel ALMOST in a bit of an art rut/slump... like I have a lot of things I SHOULD be drawing.. and that many more ideas for selfish art... but no motivation to do anything lol. At least I'm managing to widdle down my commission list.

4) I had a lot more thoughts when I started this entry.

5) I want to do some artist trading card sets/ACEO/KAKAO too... but wat to do. :/

6) I should finish the lil manga scene I started too... I got about half way into it then started to really despise my crappy panel layouts and took a break. I just don't seem to have a natural feel for it, frustrating lol.

7) Hm still need to make that video blog about the Luna Sea concert... but maybe cuz it's been a while most of what I wanted to say will have left me. CURSE MY PROCRASTINATIVE NATURE~ ::fist of justice::

8) I need to start working on cosplay too~

9) ... ran out of thoughts lol. Guess I should go to bed finally.. and by go to bed I mean prolly watch TV or read. >> <<
:.mood.: sleepy-ishsleepy-ish
:.music.: Taia - ame to suna to
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03:28am 01/28/2011
SO wooooooow. I haven't posted on here since late June 2010 haha. But Kara is crazy nice and bought me a year sub to LJ, and other friends are flocking back here and yelling at me to do the same.. so here I am again haha.

At the very least I'm going to try and make more of an effort to read everyone's entries (and start snagging some of the hot pix from jrock_scans I've been missing holy hell), and post more if I can. Tho with my current situation I'm afraid things would sound too emo/introspective to expose you all to haha. For now I'll just say my health is slightly rollercoastering again, not too much to be worried about tho, just a shit load of various doctor appts coming up because of it so I'm not very happy haha.

Last year had the typical amount of pretty epic ups and downs. I did a lot last year tho, made a lot of new acquaintances, friends, and connections. I hope this year I'll get to do just as much if not more.

Right now I'm getting closer to wrapping up a pretty epic project I started with some of my artist pals, a coloring book. It's insanely awesome, but things are a bit tough trying to keep 15 artists in line with deadlines and ideas and such lol. I'm a bit worried right now that I might have a few falling off the wagon close to the finish line for one reason or another... but hopefully they'll pull it together soon.

Anyway.. I'm kinda lightheaded so I think I shall go lay down, maybe even sleep if I'm lucky. ;p TTYL!
:.mood.: lethargiclethargic
:.music.: Vocaloid - Madness of Duke Venomania (Gakupo)
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see ya later alligator  
03:45am 06/28/2010

I've taken this trip so many times yet I still get epically nervous... I just hate travelling/plane rides so much lol.. and I'm even more scared since instead of coming home we're going to Washington from California to see my sister... I'm excited to see her, but scared of the plane rides of doom. XD

Also, I can't find my freaking camera battery charger. >:( I wish I would have noticed this earlier or even yesterday, cuz I would have just taken it as a sign to go buy a new camera LOL. I want the Olympus Pen so hard... maybe I can somehow buy it in California... tho I don't really wnant to drop that much money... OMG WAIT.. maybe I could get it cheaper in Washington on the military base mall store thing.. *__* Hopefully my camera will survive AX and Disneyland then...

ANYWAY. See you guys later... and wsh me good luck to not die on the planes. XD
:.mood.: anxiousanxious
:.music.: Ogata Megumi - 暗闇に紅のバラ~Romantic Soldier~
    .:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
a change up hahaha~  
10:54pm 05/21/2010
Changed up a few of my icons... most of them are old ones. I should probably have a more neutral one for my default but this one cracks me up lol. I had it sitting around for so long and finally had something good to write on it... anyone who can guess BOTH fonts wins a nerd cookie of epicness. >:D

I've been kinda detached from everything for a while which I'm sorry for, but it's mostly just because I haven't been feeling well or in not really the mood to socialize, even just over the computer. I've been officially diagnosed with high blood pressure now, and the number of meds I'm on is like increasing with every doctor visit lol. But I mean if it's gunna help me feel better eventually, I can suck it up I guess. She's trying to help me treat my headaches/migraines too, but it's hard because all of my "ailments" are so interconnected and/or can be caused simply from stress, it's like a bad domino effect. But yeah, listen to this laundry list of medication I take: I'm on 2 blood pressure meds (one I take twice a day), 1 for allergies, 1 for depression/anxiety/panic, 1 migraine preventative, and 1 for insomnia. Then I take daily vitamin and calcium pills. I feel like an old lady already with all the damn RX bottles. XD But yeah also how's this for some BS - when I was talking to my doctor about my headaches/migraines, she was asking what kind of medicine I take for them and how often, and I told her I basically take Ibuprofen like candy along with a half a caffeine pill usually. So she tells me with headaches, the more medicine I take, it almost becomes like an addiction where my body will create headaches so I have to take more and more medicine. D:< Even with just over the counter Ibuprofen! So all these fucking year of doctors telling me to just keep taking Ibuprofen has been really doing nothing but fucking me up more in the long run. DX So yeah she started me on that migraine preventative which will take about a month to really start working, and in the meantime I'm not allowed to take ANYTHING for headaches.. I was totally cool with it and she was saying "You're going to be cursing my name and hate me for it, but for this month don't take ANYTHING." and I was just like "No I won't Samantha, it'll be fine!" Then that night I got a bad migraine and was totally cursing her name. XD I ended up cheating and taking medicine because it was escalating to the point of feeling like I was going to vomit, but ever since then I've not taken anything. ;P IT SUCKS lol.

But yeah I've basically been out of commission, either with headaches or just kinda not feeling well, or feeling too tired to do anything. I don't know if it's the season or the meds or what, but I feel like my chronic fatigueness has somehow managed to just get worse lol. I'm just tired ALL THE TIME. Even at night when I usually feel more active, I don't feel any more energetic or awake. :/ I don't even remember the last time I worked on any art, which is probably not helping my mood. I've played some Apollo Justice and started Miles Edgeworth Investigations on my DS, but I really even haven't been playing video games that much I'm so blah all the time lol. I have been kinda watching a lot of movies and anime lately, so that's been fun at least haha.

I got an amp for my guitar finally, so I was playing around on it trying to teach myself "Sorry Love" by GLAY from watching youtube videos haha. Then my uncle came over and was tuning it and snapped my E string ( I think it's E anyway ). XD; He felt bad and got me new strings, then I snapped the new E when trying to string/tune it. EPICFAILFTL~ I haven't messed with it much since then, but when I'm near Guitar Center I'm gunna ask if I can pick up multiples of the same string so if I hardcore fail again at least I have backup. XD;

I'm looking forward to going to Disneyland again before AX, then I'm going to visit my younger sister in Washington so that'll be fun hopefully. :) She just joined a rollerderby where she is and I'm so proud of her/really freaking excited haha. I think it's just about the coolest thin ever.. I hope when I go up there they will have started the season so I can see her kick some chick's balls~ XD She still needs a good derby name tho.

Have any of you ever had an anger blackout? Like when you get so angry/frustrated that you finally just snap and for example are arguing with someone and don't even remember most of the shit you said? XD; It's happened to me only a few times.. but yeah I got into a pretty epic fight with my mom recently.. she has days when she becomes a fucking retard, and it was one of them. She was just being so stupid, then finally I couldn't take it anymore and I just lost it.. I remember starting to raise my voice during the argument, then next thing I know my step dad is taking my mom out of the house for a drive to cool off/stop crying and I'm storming out into the kitchen collecting shot glasses to put in a bag and smash the shit out of... it was then that I decided I should call my sister to calm down lol. ^^; But yeah, I had to ask my step dad the next day what I was saying cuz since I didn't even know lol. But yeah things are fine between me and my mom, neither of us apologized but we were kinda forced into a cease fire by my step dad, lol. It's whatevers tho.

That's pretty much all that's been up really that's worth mentioning I think.. I'm a bit starving now so I think I'm gunna go find some food. TTYL~

† Bix †
:.mood.: hungryhungry
:.music.: Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
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03:03am 05/13/2010
Not meaning to offend anyone, but ok. I admit I have my share of shows/music/whatever that are guilty pleasures that most would find to be pretty shitty. And, I usually don't get irked when I hear about crap other people like that I don't, cuz everyone has their own tastes. But seriously, I'm about ready to kill myself if I hear anything more about (off the top of my head) Lady Gaga, Glee, or True Blood. IMHO: Talentless, Don't Care, Overrated Vampires with Retarded Teeth Porn.


The End. /endbitchrantSORRYPPL
:.mood.: grumpygrumpy
:.music.: The Princess and the Frog - Friends on the Other Side
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Of Doctors and Dogs  
09:52am 04/29/2010
I woke up and can't fall back asleep so I thought I would update haha. I'm so sleep deprived right now and kinda dog crazy, but first I'll talk about important stuff. XD

I forgot if I updated here or not on my doctor visit... I did at devart haha. But yeah, I'll just copy/paste for those that didn't see: So I had my doctor appt with the new nurse practitioner at the clinic I go to, and she was pretty cool. She spent a lot of time with me and asked me a bunch of questions, and she decided to go ahead and put me on a blood pressure medicine for a month and see how if affects me. She also gave me an allergy medicine and recommended ways to help the eczema on my eyes and ears. :'D Tho the dumb hospital didn't fax them the records, so I might have to go back in for more blood tests, especially since I told them I wanted a thyroid test to see if maybe that's what's wrong with me. I don't think I have a thyroid problem, but Zara was looking into it and listed a bunch of typical symptoms that I seem to exhibit.. so could be coincidence or I could have it. We'll see I guess. On a random note, I totally think my new doctor is transgendered.. as soon as she walked in I just thought she was haha.. just by her hands and her body frame and such.. it doesn't matter of course, but I thought it was pretty awesome and it made me like her more haha. XD

So I've been on the medication, but my blood pressure has still been pretty consistently high last I was checking.. I kinda decided to stop checking it even if I didn't feel good because I felt like it was stressing me out more to know than to not know. I've been feeling pretty run down/lethargic still, but that isn't that unusual for me lol. I have been to trying to exercise at least every other day for about 30 mins though, which is supposed to make one feel more energetic but has no effect on me so far. XD I also am trying to make an effort to eat somewhat better, and I bought vitamins too... looks like this year I will really be taking care of myself lol. Hopefully i'll actually feel an improvement.

I'm kinda sneaking behind and parent's backs and looking into adopting this puppy: http://www.adoptapet.com/pet3718139.html . I'm not 100% sure we'll get her, but yeah I think she's pretty freaking adorable. The lady told me on Saturday I should be able to see her at the Petsmart and talk more to one of the adoption councilors to see if we'd be a good match for her. ^^ I'm excoted.. I love dogs so much lol...

I REALLY wish we could get another pitbull, but Josie just wants nothing to do with dogs her size lol. So we need to get a dog that'll be smaller than her.So you would think knowing this I would stop torturing myself and looking at pibbys.. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT GODDAMMIT THEY'RE SO CUTE~~~

I mean, LOOK AT THESE TINY PUPPIES. http://www.adoptapet.com/pet3733465.html http://www.adoptapet.com/pet3733467.html

But really, I'm so totally in love with these girls:

And even tho we're set on a girl, I think this little guy is so fucking cute, I die every time I look at him. XD He looks like a giant fat chihuahua right? XD I WANT HIM~~~ XD

If things don't work out with that puppy tho, I also think this lil mutt is adorable even tho my parents don't: http://www.adoptapet.com/pet3678713.html

And actually Smiling Dog Rescue just put up a new pibby puppy... I'd be tempted to maybe try to get her and see if by chance Josie would like her... she's so cute <3

Anyway.. Imma go lay down and see if I can fall asleep now~~
:.mood.: groggygroggy
:.music.: Talking to Bree on the phone!
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Bix Hospital Adventure Tiemz  
08:09pm 04/12/2010
Anyone remember a few days ago when i said some joke about giving myself an ulcer or a stroke?? Yeah we'll guess who just got out of the hospital? ^^;

Yeah, Saturday I was hospitalized for the first time since I was a kid. ^^;

I woke up not feeling well, the only way to describe what I felt was that my body felt really heavy yet I felt light headed at the same time, I thought maybe it was because I hadn't been sleeping well and thought also maybe it just meant I'd be getting a headache later. So I took a shower hoping it'd make me feel better, but no avail. It then occurred to me that I had felt similar a while back when I went in for a teeth cleaning, and the dentist took my blood pressure and told me it was kinda high, and advised me to start taking it regularly and if I get similar numbers to goo in a see a doctor asap, especially since I'm only 25. SO of course I didn't make a doctor's appt and figured it was nothing.. then yesterday happened.

Remembering the dentist incident, I had my mom take my blood pressure and sure enough it was a little high, 124/91 (the bottom number should be in the 70's or 80's to be considered normal). So I just try ot take it easy all day, but as time goes by I just start to feel worse and worse. I get a migraine, which makes my stomach upset, and the acid builds up and starts causing chest pains and shortness of breath, and I'm growing more and more unsettled the worse I feel.. it's like a horrible domino effect. Chibi comes over and we're watching The Swan Princess, and during it my ears start ringing because my head is hurting so bad, and I remember my mom saying her ears ring when her blood pressure gets high too. So I have my mom take my blood pressure again, and it's jumped to 141/95. And to top it off, I just REALLY DON'T FEEL GOOD.

Cue panic/anxiety attack.

I just start sobbing and try to slow myself down, but I'm all but I was already having trouble breathing so now I'm all but hyperventilating and my parents decide it's hospital time. Chibi is trying to calm me down, I'M trying to me down, and we pile into the car and go.

I fill out forms in the hospital and try not to break down in the waiting room. I get called back by a nurse where she asks me some questions and takes my vitals... my blood pressure went up yet again, now it's 159/97. I get tagged and made to wait a bit longer, called back to fill out more forms, then finally taken into the ER. I gown up and I get to answer the same questions 50 thousand times to different nurses and doctors, while they put an IV in me and poke me 20 thousand more times trying to find a vein to give blood (I was joking saying that i had stingy veins, needed all the blood i could get lol), and run an EKG (basically monitors your heartbeat) on me. They then hook me up to a machine that monitors my heart rate and takes my blood pressure every 15 mins. I look like someone out of Ghost in the Shell at this point with all the wires coming out of me, lol.

My EKG comes back abnormal, and the paramedic that took it looked concerned and asked "Have you ever been told you have an irregular EKG?" to which I answered yes, because I had been to a doctor before for my chest pains and they ran a gauntlet of tests on my heart and determined my abnormal EKG was a normal abnormality, for me at least, and the chest pain was most likely acid from my stomach that had gotten trapped in my esophagus, like acid reflux, probably caused by stress. So yeah they decide they're gunna keep me overnight so they can run a second series of EKGs and other tests the next morning to see if the results change at all. They also want to X-Ray my chest and all that. The doctors though are all really concerned because of my age and all of the symptoms, and one tells me even "We're fairly certain you're not having a heart attack, but we can't be sure until we get results back from the blood tests." to which I laughed and started crying simultaneously lol. It was all just surreal.

I told them too a lot of the symptoms I was currently having, minus the blood pressure, I had been told were stress related, including the chest pains and chest pressure and all that, AND that I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder which was most likely magnifying things since I was in the midst of a panic attack anyway. They took all that into consideration but were still pretty concerned, and they seemed kinda taken a back after they asked if I had been prescribed any medication to take DURING an attack to calm me down and I said no. But yeah I was fighting back the attack really hard, even though my mom had said to just let go and cry I didn't want to lose it. I think I freaked out the poor X-Ray tech, because when he took me to go take them, he asked me "So what brings you to the hospital" which I laughed cuz it sounded so strange, and I was like "Well I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by." lol.. I told him a little bit why i was there and kinda just trying to be jovial... then he had me wait alone in a room while he checked to make sure the X-Rays came out, and when I didn't have anything to distract me anymore I just started crying. ^^; I tried to be sly about it but I think he totally saw, cuz when he came back he was like "They came out perfect, ah you did great! :D ;;; " I was just like "Awesome, thank you. :'D" And when we got back to my room he just told me quietly "Good luck and God bless." and again I sniffled a "Ok thanks :'D" Yeah I was a mess lol...

Chibi called her mom, my sister, to come get her so she and my mom could take shifts staying with me ( again I FAIL because they asked if I wanted them to stay, i said "no go ahead and go home, I'll be fine." and even as the words came out of my mouth I started crying lol.. suck.. ), and of course my wonderful sister tells her "i'm already in bed, call someone else for a ride" -_- She later said she didn't even remember her calling her, that she was half asleep, but still I've been half asleep and gotten a phone call saying "So-and-so is in the hospital" and i wake up right quick. >:( ANYWAY.. our friend Alex had to pick up Chibi, and my mom stayed.

The nurse came in and gave me a pill that was supposed to calm me down/put me to sleep.. but because my body is like anti-sedative I didn't feel anything until like 5 hours later. In the meantime I just babbled to my poor mom, because I was desperate to keep my mind+mouth busy so I wouldn't fall to the panic attack. Tho I cried a lot anyway while talking to her, mostly when I was talking about Dash, our dog we recently had to put down. LoL at one point the nurse came in and was like "WTH You're still awake?! You know it's like 4 a.m., you CAN go to sleep." and I just laughed and told her how I have to take two types of sleeping pills to get any sleep normally, so she shouldn't be surprised to find me there awake even after my mom passes out. But yeah I don't know what time it was when I ran out of things to say and things got quiet... my mom fell asleep and I was trying to myself but every time I closed my eyes I was immediately thrown into some weird dream or nightmare. So I just kept waking up trying to restart to a blank dream... by then I think the pill was finally hitting me, along with my own exhaustion and adrenaline fallout, and I started to hallucinate. Everything in my room was stretching, growing, shrinking, moving in some way... it was only scary when it looked like the ceiling was going to crush me.. I then tried to at least go into a blank meditation state like I had learned forever ago in Tai Chi and in psychology of all classes, and while trying that I finally fell asleep.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up and I'm home. I think "Was it all a dream?" then I look at my arms and see all of the bandages and bruises from all the needles. I call Chibi to ask for my phone, and she asks how I'm feeling and I say I feel disoriented and don't know what's going on.

Cue panic attack.

I only sort of remembered them waking me up and removing all the wires, and telling me something but I was too groggy to focus on the words. I panicked thinking they told me something important about what was wrong with me and I wasn't awake enough to hear and now what. What the hell just happened. Chibi rushes over and they wake up my mom and calm me down and tell me what the dr told my mom. I DIDN'T have a heart attack lol, and my kidneys hadn't taken any damage from my blood pressure. But they weren't able to find out what had caused my blood pressure to not only spike, but jump all over the place as it did all night; whether it was caused by stress perhaps or what had triggered the stress. They said I had to see my normal dr tho ASAP and possibly be put on high blood pressure medicine as well as take a stress test to test my heart I guess. So yeah I have an appt Friday and I'll find out what next then I guess.

I feel mostly ok now, just have been feeling really dizzy/lightheaded and have had my usual headaches and whatnot but not nearly as bad as that day. I don't really know what to expect at the doctors, but I hope they can figure something out because I don't really want to have to rush to the ER every time my blood pressure spikes.

Everyone just hope I really don't end having a stroke, for real this time I guess. XD;

† Bix †
:.mood.: headacheheadache
:.music.: Ogata Megumi - Breath
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01:32pm 03/23/2010
Is going to be a bad day. We're putting our 13 year old spaniel, Dash, down. His kidneys are failing. He was born here at the house, the only of his litter to survive as his mom was sick with valley fever. She died when he was still young, so me and my younger sister and basically raised him ourselves. He was the little prince of the house. And tomorrow he'll be gone. I can't even begin to explain how deeply my heart hurts.

Other than that, I'm so sorry for my absence lately. I've been prepping for a local con I'm selling at, helping my niece with her stuff, and busy with errands and my dogs.

There was so many good things happening this week, like Zara coming into town to visit, and the con is this weekend, and a certain something I ordered finally came in the mail... but right now I'd trade anything for my dog.
:.mood.: depresseddepressed
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random quiz spam  
07:02am 03/06/2010

Your result for The Are you Really a StarWars Buff Test...

TK421 (Stormtrooper)

74% Star Warsian Knowledge!

Congratulations... your namesake, in case you didn't know, is the stormtrooper who heroicly got himself koshed by Han abord the Millenium Falcon while it was captured on the Deathstar. He goes down in the annals of lower-class mediocraty, and you're right there with him!

Take The Are you Really a StarWars Buff Test at HelloQuizzy

HOLY FUCK THAT TEST WAS HARD! XD Most of the questions that I didn't know was only because I hadn't read the books they referred to. :T A couple, like the Super Star Destroyer Q, I knew once but forgot. XD AWESOME THO.

Your result for The Supervillain Archetype Test...

The Nemesis

Driven, Hateful, Obsessed

The Nemesis is the villain that even the most powerful hero fears. Your hatred for your lawful counterpart knows no bounds. 

Your main goal may have been wealth, or power, but not anymore. Somebody, or something, has tweaked you the wrong way, and nothing will stop you from making that costumed freak pay! Nemeses are implacable, calculating, and just a little bit insane. You don't lose sight of your goal. Ever. You may join up with other people who hate the same person, but you can't work with them for long, because you want the pleasure of victory to yourself.

The main weakness of Nemeses is that they are a bit like cats. Once they've caught the mouse, they can't help but play with it, toy with it, make it suffer. This extra attention leaves them vulnerable, and their new mouse will often bite back.

Sample Nemeses: The Joker, The Green Goblin, Venom, Bizarro Superman

Take The Supervillain Archetype Test at HelloQuizzy

:D ?
:.mood.: amusedamused
:.music.: Sailormoon - Ginga Ichi Mibun Chigai na Kataomoi (Niiyama Shiho - Seiya)
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02:44am 02/17/2010
Dear customer service people of x websites,

Please for the love of hamsters use some common sense and answer my questions FULLY so that way I save us both some time and irritation and I don't have to e-mail you 50,000 times asking for more clarification. i.e. After a thousand previous emails, I tell you your website isn't letting me place my order, you tell me to use yousendit.com for my file, BUT you neglect to tell me who the hell I'm supposed to e-mail it to.



:.mood.: DUHDUH
:.music.: hide with Spread Beaver - Doubt '97 (Mixed LEMONed Jelly Mix)
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08:04pm 01/22/2010
I'm reeeeaaaalllllyyy sleep deprived right now. As such, the following thought was epically hilarious.

Eve/Aya said on Twitter she'd love to do Casshern cosplay but doesn't have the skillz to make the suit, but she'd be the girl instead if someone would be Casshern.


I asked if I could be dead Hisashi. 8D ( Takuro and Hisashi have cameos in the movie for like 10 seconds.. upon which they just get shot and die XD )



Yeah Imma go eat pizza now and hopefully pass out.
:.mood.: XDXD
:.music.: Ogata Megumi - ムーンライト伝説 [Moonlight Densetsu]
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Tired ramblings.  
07:43am 01/16/2010
I've been up all night, and even though I feel exhausted I know as soon as I go to lay down I will not be able to sleep. >_< I wish I was awake enough to draw/color/do something productive. Grr.

Anyway. Random ramblings.

I'm always amused when I get super sleep deprived, how it has an almost drunk like effect on me, because I sometimes randomly think about certain people and how much I miss/love them lol. For example, the other night I was thinking how much I love Jesse, lol. I feel like he's a brother to me. Definitely moreso than my actual brothers, haha, sad. ATM I also really miss Zara. And Model Guy (Paul) and Tony the Tiger (James). I would like hugs from all right now kthx.

Speaking of Zara, need to go get you your big care package of gifts and whatnot still, hopefully this weekend. :D We got your package too, and it was full of amazing~~ MAMESHIBA PEN IS FULL OF WIN~ XD And of course the GLAY towel and wristband and other wonderfulness. :'D

And now I'm not so sure if I'll be able to do school this semester, for a few reasons, but mostly cuz they couldn't get me in for a "grad chec" until AFTER the semester started. >:( And I don't really want to take a random class, even if it's something I'd be interested in. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but really I just had the mindset to get in and finish, no nonsense. But yeah besides that there's other stuff. Don't really feel like talking about it atm tho haha.

I successfully rescued all my anime music from my OLD OLD OLD computer's drive recently. :'D IT'S AMAZING. I'm so happy~~~ Now I'm trying to get the rest of my fanart collection off of my less old drive, but it's so effed up it only lets me take off a small amount at a time before it stops responding. >:( It's a painfully slow and irritating process, but I'm determined to save my collection~

Ahh this song I'm listening to, the seiyuu's voice is close to what I imagine Dash's voice would sound like. <3

So far, there's 3 pictures with me and Chibi in it in the latest issue of Happy Swing, which is GLAY's official fanclub magazine~ It's crazyness~~~ Mari said she'd scan more when she got her copy (thanks so much Hisasha for scanning what I've seen sofar tho! <333 ) I was kinda hoping there'd be something about my drawings lol, but I was never expecting there would be.

I feel so far behind on drawings.. I always seem to have a to do a million miles long but I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in a long while. Plus I still need to do the XMas cards.. I think it's just daunting because I have like 50-something I need to write out lol. I thought I had only 30-ish but when I did the final count it was in the 50's. OTL Which reminds me Marco doesn't work at Office Max anymore, WRRRYYYYYY~?? Now who's gunna give me sweet hookups/discounts? ;_;

ORYA. Peeps in Tucson, you should go to Con-nichiwa http://www.con-nichiwa.com/ in March! <3 Me and Chibi are doing Artist Alley~ :3

I need to start working on story stuff, specifically the chara designs and all that. Z-chan I'll prolly send you kinda like a "form" for each character with all the little details I need to know to get them drawn up, that way I won't draw them wrong fo' sho. Also seriously why is it so hard to find a last name for Dash?? I think I'm getting closer tho, I can feel it. XD I also realized it's such a good thing I have this tablet now, because it'll be so much easier and less pressure if I'm able to draw the comic on the computer and more easily fix mistakes. Also it's easier to get a more "manga like" feel with my lines, and since I was planning to lay tones out digitally anyway, solves everything. If you guys wanna see my progress on learning to draw on the tablet thus far, I suggest you look at this AMAZING meme I did with a friend and super talented artist and web comic author for dream*scar. <3

EPIC DOUBLE MEME IS EPIC XD by *TonomuraBix on deviantART

It's so crappy looking, but I'm really so freaking proud of my Darth Vader scribble, omg. XD Especially since I was cracking myself up the whole time lol. I also love how she drew me nekkid lol. And her Zel and Dash pic is hilarious. X'D And HOORAY RIBBON PORN. I totally want to make a stamp that says that lol. It can be our special club. I can't wait to get to do a pchat session with her too. <3

Also can't wait to do this meme with Monica. XD I want to draw her a cute Lum picture. <3 And I totally know what to draw for when I have to draw what she looks like, it'll be so awesome and hilarious LOLZ. Haha ah I lurv Monica, and Roald. I should make Roald do it with me too. XD

I think I might be out of things to talk about haha. Maybe I can sleep now. Or fail at it and end u[ back here.
:.mood.: groggygroggy
:.music.: Lost Universe - again [PAROME Version] (Souichirou Hoshi)
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05:29am 01/13/2010

WE'RE IN HAPPY SWING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!111212137161041YPHWSA;SASJADH;

Thanks so much to broken_devil for scanning this!!! :'D
:.mood.: shockedshocked
:.music.: TWO MIX - Justice- Another Possibility
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Back from the dead?  
10:13pm 01/03/2010
Sorry I've been so inactive and quiet here on LJ. Just recently though I was busy holiday shopping, hanging out with my lil sis who came into town for the holidays, the holidays, and getting epically sick. XD Maybe not epically, but jesus this is the worst cold/flu i've had in a long while.. I got it day after XMas, and only just now am I starting to really feel better, although I still have a horrible cough and my sinuses are killing me by either giving me pressure headaches or draining into my throat and making it all the more sore. >< Also, haven't been able to taste ANYTHING since Dec. 28.. it's lame. Actually I take it back, I can taste medicine but nothing else, how awesome is that? -_-

Anyhoo I'm so sorry I haven't sent out my holiday cards yet, but they'll be out sometime soon! I've just been so sick/busy.. you understand. T__T But I got some beyond awesome and lovely cards from others, I'll write more about them later. <3333

LOVE YOU ALL. Hope you had merry holidays and hope 2010 will be great for all!!
:.mood.: hungryhungry
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03:51am 11/13/2009
I'm way behind on LJ, sorry gaiz~ ;o; I just got back from PMX a few days ago and it was great fun~ I'll post more about it later. Also got another wisdom tooth pulled, so I'm in pain and kinda woozie from the meds.. I've been trying to fall back asleep but I guess sleeping for a day ad a half straight is my limit lol. But yeah.. will write again soon, and will try to catch up with everyone~
:.mood.: lethargiclethargic
:.music.: Kirito - DOOR
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Of stress and being blissfully anti social  
05:04am 10/05/2009
I've been on a sort of break from IM/Chats for a while, and while I miss having my fun random convos with certain peeps I've kept to staying under the radar. I've had a lot going on these last couple of months, and I've just found myself and my brain just too tired/stressed/plain not in the mood to talk to anyone, and the more I force it the more irritable I become with people haha. My brain is overloaded, and I just want/need some peace and solitude, even if it's just from chatting via online. I've been keeping up with people's posts at least. :)

But yeah, for those that don't know yet, I've now officially quit my job at Kingfisher. My last day was Thursday. No, I didn't find a new job, unfortunately. Yes, I have money saved up. No, there's no need to worry. For yes, I have many a plan in the hopes of bettering my situation in life in many ways, or at the very least feeling better about things. :)

I really want to thank everyone whom I talked to about my decision, I felt like I had a surprising amount of support for some reason lol. :o I don't even think most people know really how huge this was for me to actually take this kind of action... let's just say even after I decided to do it and had my various back up plans and ideas and knowledge that if worse came to worse Kingfisher would definitely take me back, I still have had so many panic/anxiety attacks over it lol. You don't even know how ridiculous it is haha.

I think one of my biggest issues was that in this terrible economy, I would hear SO OFTEN from co-workers and guests about being thankful to have any sort of job and how so-and-so was getting laid off or this place/company was going under soon so this many people would be out of work and so on.. and for a looooooong time I told myself the same ting, I should just be thankful to have a job, even if I hate it, but at least I make ok money.. but the argument and any others I had just started to really wear thin after a while. And just to add to my frustrations, I've applied at various places so many times, and never once have I even received a callback... I just felt more and more that I was doomed to remain a busser a KF for buddha knows how long. And then I guess my frustrations and lol misery kinda seeped into everything else, because my parents were the ones that ended up confronting me and urging me to quit because they could see how unhappy I am, and they were honestly afraid that I was going to end up going postal at work I guess lol. But yeah, after they approached me I began a long debate with myself.. because my responsible rational side knew that I should suck it up and stick with my job until I finally received a callback from somewhere... whereas my sanity told me FUCK THIS NOISE and to just do it and I could make things work out somehow. I started asking some of my friends what they would do, and got pretty even responses for either argument haha. I think the GLAY concerts that really invigorated and inspired me too.. so yeah obviously in the end I went with my sanity/happiness and not my rational/responsible side as I 10/10 times would have haha.

When I put in my two weeks my boss told me even that while I would be missed, it was more important to do what was needed to make me happy more than anything, and that if I even wanted to come back to just give them a call. And I knew people would be said about me leaving.. but man, some of them were like, REALLY REALLY sad about it. XD; I'm kinda always surprised by how people respond to me I guess. Yvonne, one of the servers, wrote me a pretty awesome angry card about my leaving. XD I still hope one day to go to a concert with her. Also, on my last day of work, fucking Al Sharpton came in to eat, wtf. XD I don't even know what that means. Apparently he and Newt Gingrich were supposed to have lunch together as some sort of publicity stunt, but then Gingrich canceled lol. It was fun trying to sneak a picture tho with Eric and Jesse and making jokes about the Rev's bodyguards shooting us if they caught us. XD

There was more I wanted to write about on this.. but my brain is fried.. today was kinda a bad/stressful day. Having a hard time finding a home for the puppy still, but I think I found a few pitbull specific websites that will help me get him a home, and also in the meantime hopefully help him with his behavior issues. The puppy tho has honestly added to my stress tho as happy as I am to have saved him, haha.. aside from waking me up at weird hours and disrupting my already disruptive sleep schedule.. he causes so much tension with the dogs at times, and my dogs well being takes priority. And then of course my parents... Today he had a bad day, but it was mostly my parents fault for not listening to me when I told them to NOT feed him around the other dogs, and if they were going to give him treats they need to do so wile he's in the kennel or outside by himself. My dog now has a nasty cut on her ear because he basically attacked her for a dog bone, and even snapped at me too. I pretty much exploded at them tho after the second time it happened today tho, I was so frustrated and infuriated that I broke down crying. -_-; But it was just because it was that stress on top of everything else.. but yeah hopefully I got my point across now and they'll use some god damn common sense. I'm not asking much here, christ. But really he's made some pretty good strides considering we've only had him a small while.. .it's just everything else will take a lot of time.

Anyhoo.. yeah, brain is dead, very very dead, day long headache. I think now I've successfully calmed down its running around in circles enough tho to sleep.. after I check your guys LJ posts tho haha. Got stuff to do tomorrow..er..today.... dammit. T_T And I'm seeing Paranormal Activity again tonight, this time with my mom.. part of me seriously hopes she doesn't have a heart attack. XD;;;;;;

Wish me luck with everything!

† Bix †
:.mood.: apatheticapathetic
:.music.: Ogata Megumi - 風になる [Kaze ni naru]
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Home still needed for the lil monster. :D  
06:01pm 10/03/2009
So thanks to Ray I had a couple who wanted him, but when we brought him over for them to look at it wasn't gunna work out. ;_;


So yes, he still needs a home!! Looking more at his size he's more like 5-6 months. He has some issues with from abusive past like some food and toy aggression (but it seems to be only with other animals), and he's afraid of strangers. But other than that he's just a normal rambunctious little monkey of a puppy in need of some obedience training. :) Please spread the word and ask around, but most importantly make sure they are someone who you KNOW would be good to him, he's been through enough.
:.mood.: fullfull
:.music.: TV in BG
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Help me Tucson friends, you're my only hope~ ;D  
10:19pm 09/30/2009
Ok STAR WARS quotes aside, I really do need your help!


HE NEEDS A HOME. We just rescued this 3-4 month old pitbull puppy from an abusive home, and we're unable to keep him ourselves because we have more than enough dogs to take care of. x_x If you know anyone that could give him a good home PLEASE let me know, I don't want to have to resort to craig's list or Buddha forbid the Humane Society. >_< Please spread the word and ask around, but most importantly make sure they are someone who you KNOW would be good to him, he's been through enough.
:.mood.: exhaustedexhausted
:.music.: Hamasaki Ayumi - HANABI
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11:48pm 09/16/2009
Part two of EPIC WINCollapse )

So yes, most epic epic epic time of my life I think. <33333

I miss everyone. ;_;

I kinda rushed the second and third parts cuz I'm tired and wanted to hurry and post this. XD If I forgot anything remind me~!!!

† Bix †
:.mood.: accomplishedaccomplished
:.music.: GLAY - RUN
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
11:44pm 09/16/2009
I didn't think this years concerts could possibly be better than last year, as it was my first GLAY concert experience and it was just so amazing and everything.. and I don't know how they did it, but they totally outdid last year. It's still SLOWLY hitting me that I did in fact get to see them again, but just everything that happened during those few days. x_x Anytime I think about it or talk about it, I start to shake and tear up, even now I'm doing both haha. XD; So yeah, my "report" is really nothing more than a collection of random memories and pictures. <3 It's more entertaining that way for me than writing out every detail... I'll prolly add to it as I remember stuff later from reading other people's journals and such haha.

Part one of EPIC WINCollapse )

If I forgot anything, remind me~~ XDDD


† Bix †
:.mood.: accomplishedaccomplished
:.music.: GLAY - I'm in Love
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
08:54pm 09/14/2009
I'm going to start writing up my "report" right now, but for now I can sum up my GLAY experience in these three words and these few pictures.










So yes I repeat, EPIC HUCKING WIN!!!!!!!

I'm shaking in disbelief even just posting this little bit. More to come soon~

† Bix †
:.mood.: exhausted/sore/in denialexhausted/sore/in denial
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
GLAY Busts  
10:39pm 09/06/2009
Click them to go to deviantart and read my artist comments if you're curious. :D

all standard is you by *TonomuraBix on deviantART

coyote colored darkness by *TonomuraBix on deviantART

pure soul by *TonomuraBix on deviantART

mister popcorn by *TonomuraBix on deviantART
:.mood.: boredbored
:.music.: GLAY - Kodo
    .:.play the devil.:.play the angel.:.Share.:.link.:.
.:Bix VS  
.:angel cage:.  
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"I am not the kind of Goddess of Victory that people cheer for. I am merely a marionette who is fighting to cut off her own strings. At my feet is a hill covered in skeletons, I am nothing but an angel of death."
- Alexiel, Angel Sanctuary Vol.11

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